Category Archives: Traveling Companion

My life as the preacher’s wife…er…husband, UUMPs

No free rides for left-turners (or things I need to get used to in Cheyenne)

(I’ve been meaning to post this for a couple of months, but haven’t gotten to it yet. But here it is.)

OK, so we’ve been in Cheyenne for about three months now and here are some things that I’ve found I need to get used to about being here.

1. Everyone is so nice here

Yeah, I said it. I believe people here are, for the most part, genuinely nice. People usually say what they’re thinking and don’t seem to be hiding their true thoughts to “be polite”. And it’s not just folks in the church. It’s people I meet every day here. Strangers are chatty and friendly. And helpful. My new neighbor, the first time he met me, took a few minutes of his time, before he and his wife had to go out, to help me with re-assembling my daughter’s swingset, loaning me tools in the process. I think it’ll take me a while before I’m not suspicious anymore. Or guarded.

2. The thin air

I’m sitting on the couch writing this and I’m out of breath. The high altitude and thinner oxygen kicked my butt the first couple of weeks here. I was just so tired. From what I understand, at lower altitudes, where there is plenty of oxygen in each breath I take, my red blood cells become quickly saturated with oxygen while traveling through my lungs. However, at higher altitudes, where the oxygen is less plentiful, I just don’t have enough blood cells passing through my lungs to pick up enough oxygen to feed my cells. Thus, I get winded and tired easily. As I live here for a while, my body will compensate by making more red blood cells so that the sheer numbers will be able to grab enough oxygen.¬†Oh, and apparently it is making me pee more. Something about the way the body compensates for the lack of enough red blood cells. My wife and I started running several months ago, before we moved here and we’re continuing to run now, but we’ve had to take a step back in our progress because we’ve been so winded. It’s getting easier, but we’re still going to take it slow.

3. The low humidity

I am so happy about the low humidity that I hesitate to even mention it in this post. No more sweating while sitting in the shade! I barely even break a sweat when I go for my run. But, we’re learning not to ever go out of the house without taking some emergency water with us. Dehydration happens fast here. I was already a water nut before, but I’m finding that even that’s not enough now. So, I’m being vigilant. On the bright side, my hair dries before I even step out of the shower and we don’t really have to worry about mold and mildew.

4. The conservative politics

After living in a purple state that went for Obama in 2008, it’s weird to live in a state and city where finding a liberal sentiment is like an oasis in the desert. We were very excited today when we saw a sticker that said “Proud Wyoming Democrat”. And then we passed by the Democratic Headquarters on the way home. But from what I hear, the republicans here are more of the Libertarian flavor, which can be good and bad.

5. The left turn signals

Apparently, in Virginia, I was very¬†privileged. When I stopped at a traffic light, I took it for granted that when I wanted to turn left, I would be the first allowed to proceed, before the oncoming traffic. But in Wyoming, I have been humbled. Here, forward-driving traffic is allowed to proceed first, and left-turners are forced to wait their turn and hope they can make it through before the light turns, all the while being taunted by a flashing yellow arrow. It gets iffy during busy times. Actually, I’ve found that during certain times of day the pattern changes and left-turners actually get a green arrow, but it’s not always certain. I think it might be a reflection of the politics. ;0)

Cowgirl up!

OK, so it’s been what? Six months since I wrote anything here? Sorry about that. At first it was because I had joined the Occupy movement and was focusing my energy on that. Then it was my involvement with the Occupy movement combined with helping my wife find another job. Then it was just inertia born of being away from it too long. Well, my wife has a job (yay! and more on that in a minute), and therefore we are both weening ourselves from the local Occupy. The inertia is still threatening to keep me away from here, so I figured I’d better write something just to prime the pump. Continue reading Cowgirl up!

The beginning of the end, part 2…

I was already a member of my church when my wife, then a single mother, was called to be their minister. Years later, when we began dating, she warned me that, especially if our relationship led to marriage, I could not be a member of this church in the same way and that my role would change significantly. I tried to remember that, but I selfishly clung to this church as my spiritual home. I did not make the transition well. The next closest UU congregation is 45 miles away, so that was not a practical option. I did not reach out to the UUMPS (UU Minister’s Partners & Spouses) group early on and I didn’t really know what the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF) was at that time. I was a member of the church’s Board, but appropriately resigned after we started dating. However, I still remained in leadership positions, like chairing committees that were foundering. But I have a full-time job and being a support for my wife is another full-time job, not to mention just being a husband and father, so my leadership was really ineffective. Continue reading The beginning of the end, part 2…

The beginning of the end…

I’ve recently become acutely aware of the dangers of unhealthy communication. By unhealthy communication, I mean the avoidance of healthy interactions…instead of going directly to the source of the perceived conflict, people will instead complain to others who are not involved. I sort of understand this…it is innate characteristic we’ve had from the time when humans lived in tribes and life was very much an us against them reality. You stick with the people you know and trust and don’t risk pissing someone off by confronting the other person. This is very damaging to community. It destroys trust and divides people.

Many times it is simply a misunderstanding that could have been cleared up if only the offended party would have spoken directly with the object of their discontent. Sometimes the issue is more serious, but it is still important to speak your truth to the individual instead of letting the offence fester. Continue reading The beginning of the end…